we were the heaving waters
by callmesandy
Summary: Pacey said, "How many times are you going to try with Dawson, Jo? You guys dated when you were 16, every try since then crashes and burns." AU from the beginning of s6. (Pacey/Joey)


Notes: not mine, no profit garnered. For the trope bingo spots: FOOD AND COOKING, POOR COMMUNICATION SKILLS and CANNON FODDER. Title and opening quote from Ansley Clark's Bravo. I don't like Eddie. Or much of s6's writing for Joey and Pacey. Thanks to A for the beta help!

* * *

 _but we were not the ferries_  
 _we believed ourselves_  
 _to be lit up_  
 _like cakes but_  
 _we were not cakes we were_  
 _the heaving waters_  
 _a wall of shit_  
 _and burning._

Pacey broke up with Audrey while his chest still ached from Joey poking it, saying not to break her heart. But he was definitely going to break her heart because he didn't love her. He would ruin both of them and that was a shitty thing to do. Breaking up with her now meant that his grand romantic gesture and their summer of love would still be real; if he waited long enough, they would dislike each other and everything would be tainted and ruined.

"Why are you still here?" Joey was sitting at the table alone staring at the bar.

"Why are you back here?" Joey frowned. "You know what that woman just told me? They had a bartender who was killed in freak accident. A piece of satellite fell on him and now he's dead. Just walking down the street."

"I thought that never happened, that's insane," Pacey said. "I'm back here dodging satellite parts, clearly. One was coming straight for me."

Joey stared at him. "Reality, please."

"I broke up with Audrey," Pacey said. "It was the right thing to do. I'm pretty miserable and I think she wants me to die painfully, maybe from satellite parts, but it would have been worse if we didn't, if I didn't. Now I have no place to stay and no interview tomorrow."

"Why not cook? Why aren't you cooking? Also, how dare you make my roommate miserable? She deserved better."

"She definitely deserved better than both of us pretending we were still in love," Pacey said. "Why are you here? Are you waiting for Dawson? You know he has a girlfriend, right?"

"He does?" Joey blinked at him a few times. "I had a boyfriend this summer."

"But you don't now, and he still does. Super hot actress, she's been in a few movies, actually," Pacey said.

"Are you lying to me so we can both be miserable?"

"Why does that make you miserable? You had a boyfriend this summer. How many times are you going to try with Dawson, Jo? You guys dated when you were 16, every try since then crashes and burns. Why are you so intent on ruining your friendship? You guys have a great friendship, everyone wants that kind of friendship. Burn down this fairy house you've constructed where somehow you two get back together and it somehow works out."

Joey stood up to yell at him. "Shut up, Pacey. What do you know? You dumped me. You just dumped Audrey. You don't have some great high mountain top of perspective here."

"I think me and maybe Jen are the only ones who have a real perspective here. And you know what? I did dump you, why don't you spend any time trying to heal that wound and paper over everything that went wrong? Why exactly do you only do that for Dawson?" Now they were both standing and yelling.

"You dumped me," Joey yelled. "You dumped me. You started dating my roommate, you asshole."

"You said it was okay," Pacey yelled.

"I lied, obviously!"

Emma slapped her tray down on the table. "Stop now. If you're going to yell, yell outside."

"We're the only ones here," Joey said.

"So that means I have to hear all of this bloody argument," Emma said. "Go."

Pacey waited until Joey turned and started walking out to follow her. She was still walking with her chin up when they got outside, crossing the street. He caught up to her and grabbed her arm before she got run over. "Oh, please," she said. "We do not need to continue this conversation."

"Really? I think it might make sense to actually have this conversation finally," Pacey said.

Joey crossed her arms and glared at him. She said, "I like it better when we don't talk. Let's just keep this up these nice secure walls of denial and not talking. It makes me happy, it makes you happy."

"It doesn't make me happy. It's why I was so monumentally stupid to dump you, like maybe we should have started this argument a year or two ago," Pacey said.

"I bet I would have loved that," Joey said. "Would that have given me a prom that didn't cause recurring nightmares?"

"You do not have recurring nightmares about prom?"

"How would you know and yes I do! At least three times, it's recurring," Joey said.

"I'm sorry," Pacey said, loudly. "I'm sorry." He reached for her and she didn't pull back. "Seriously, I'm sorry." Then he was hugging her and she also didn't pull away.

She sniffled and then pulled away. "Oh, God, let's never do this again," she said.

"No, no, I think we should talk again. Oh, happy birthday in advance." He reached in his back pocket and pulled out a brown paper bag. "I didn't get a chance to wrap it, but I'm pretty sure I'm not invited to your surprise birthday party Audrey's throwing tomorrow."

Joey took the bag but she just played with it, didn't open it. Pacey couldn't say he didn't understand. "Maybe tomorrow I'll open it."

"And then the day after, we can get coffee or something. We covered the really bad stuff in the yelling, right?"

Joey gave him a watery smile. "Sorry you and Audrey broke up," she said.

"Sorry I gave you nightmares, but I didn't want to do the same to Audrey," he said.

"Right," she said. She looked both ways, still clutching the bag to her chest, and went to the T.

He moved into Grams's place, and he would have agreed with Jack it was a little quiet and prosaic if he'd had time while going from restaurant to restaurant looking for work. Finally he got hired as one step up from a dishwasher. He did prep work and thought about Danny telling him they were just the same before he'd started his summer in LA.

He was sitting outside sipping his coffee when Dawson came by to yell at him. It didn't start off as yelling, of course. Dawson was very calm saying "Why did you tell Joey I had a girlfriend?"

"Why are you upset about that?" Pacey leaned back, feeling bile rising in his gut.

"It feels like you were trying to sabotage me," Dawson said.

"Because you're a fucking asshole," Pacey said. "Why should your movie star girlfriend be a secret from Joey? Were you genuinely planning to try for her and then break up with Natasha if it worked out?"

"It's not a serious relationship, calling her my girlfriend is a bit of an exaggeration," Dawson said.

"But you're still with her since I bet Joey didn't jump you so you're back to being committed," Pacey said. "Come on, Dawson, why do you turn into this goddamn psycho when it comes to Joey? You're a good person unless she's in your sights and then you're just a douchebag."

"Come on, Pacey, fuck off," Dawson said. Now he was starting to yell. "It's not like that at all. It's Joey, there was something there, she came to the airport to see me."

"And then she didn't go with you, and she dated and you dated and apparently, neither of you spoke, and now, what? She's been waiting for you? You come on, Dawson."

"Shut up, Pacey," Dawson said and stalked off.

Jen came out and sat down next to him. She'd brought him another cup of coffee. "Were you two getting along that well this summer?"

"We actually were," Pacey said. "When we saw each other. He enjoyed the parties Audrey went to a lot more than I did, which to be honest, not that hard."

"You don't enjoy sex, drugs and rock'n'roll?" Jen made devil horns with her fingers.

"I"m a big fan of sex and rock, depending on the music, but drugs aren't my thing," Pacey said. "Getting drunk, I can get behind and who really gets upset over a little weed? But, basically, no, I didn't enjoy the parties. I liked going with Audrey, but after an hour, she'd go off one way, I'd've already lost Dawson, and then I'd just go into the kitchen and play with the expensive toys. Then Audrey would find me and we'd leave."

"You do make it sound thrilling," Jen said.

"It wasn't my type of thing," Pacey said. "I thought it could be, but nope. And Audrey was in her element. She should be with someone who likes that stuff or someone who offers her a decent alternative she likes."

"Not you," Jen said. They drank coffee in silence. Then she said, "I try not to take it personally, but obviously it's personal. We're like cannon fodder in their big story, roadkill, obstacles to the important finish."

"We are cannon fodder," Pacey said. "It feels like they'll never see past each other. And you know, it felt like it could be different when I was with her, but nope. A month after we break up, she's kissing him. Writing some damn story about it."

"Ha, we break up and then he's running down to Florida to get back together with Joey," Jen said. "And apparently kissing her at the airport?"

"You two were good together," Pacey said.

"You two, too," Jen said. "Audrey is miserable, by the way. But somehow Joey convinced her to join with her in some kind of studying pact."

"Good for both of them," Pacey said.

"We should branch out this year," Jen said. "Let's not date anyone from Capeside or roommate with someone from Capeside. Fresh blood."

"New cannon fodder," Pacey said.

"Maybe for you," Jen said. "I'm giving up that fight. Dawson and I had a perfectly nice break up."

Dawson showed up two days later and raised a hand in surrender. "I'm an asshole, I'm sorry," he said.

"Hey, nice to see you, too," Pacey said.

"Something about that girl," Dawson said. "Turns me into an asshole. And I'm not saying it's Joey, because it's 100% not, but you know it's my reaction to her."

"Maybe you should try not being an asshole," Pacey said.

"I am, I swear. Right now," Dawson said. He smiled at Pacey and Pacey knew he was smiling back. "Don't worry, I apologized to Joey, too. We had a nice long talk, actually."

"That's great, I haven't talked to her in a week," Pacey said.

Dawson shrugged. "I think she's very Kelly Taylor right now, here, she's having a I choose me moment. In a good way, I think it's good for her."

"I think neither of us really get to judge what's good for Joey," Pacey said.

"I agree, completely," Dawson said. "All prior actions to the contrary. I've come around on this."

"I guess your, our future actions will be the barometer of our commitment," Pacey said.

It did put him in a good mood, he liked when he got along with Dawson.

He'd been prep cooking for six weeks. Six very long weeks. He'd really hoped he'd be somewhere else this year than back on his ass, paying his dues. "I want to complain about this, Lindley," he said.

She handed him another beer. "Don't be an asshole," Jen said. "You're not even 21. We're drinking this beer against the law. So of course you're paying your dues. You should be."

"You suck," Pacey said.

"Don't you wish," Jen said, falling back on her bed. "It's Friday and I'm here with you because it was just too sad to go out with Jack and Audrey one more time. Though that is where I'll be tomorrow night. Next week, too."

"Thanks for having the time for me," Pacey said. He laid down next to her.

"Oh, I'm supposed to tell you, Audrey still hates you. She says you're not allowed to fuck Joey until after New Year's."

Pacey boggled at that tidbit. "The last time I talked to Joey was the last time I talked to Joey." He looked at Jen's lovely face. "Is that helpline guy still not interested in you?"

"Yes, what the fuck is that?"

"He's an idiot," Pacey said.

Jen looked at him and lightly pressed the back of her hand to his forehead. "You're drunk."

"Pleasantly buzzed," Pacey said.

Jen smiled, her giddy beautiful smile. "Idiot," she said.

The first kiss was slow and soft and then everything sped up. Jen got his t-shirt off and threw it on the floor, then his pants and boxers. He took a bit longer getting her naked because he loved exploring. Jen's perfect breasts and sweet ass and he spread her legs to do more exploring with his mouth and hands. He was an idiot, he'd been an idiot when he was 16. All he wanted to do was make her come and watch it. She pulled him on top of her. "You're so tall," Jen said. "Let's be boring missionary fuckers."

"I promise not to be boring," Pacey said. He kept saying her name as he fucked her because she was just that amazing under him.

When he came, she scratched his shoulders, and he could have sworn he left this earthly plane. He didn't tell her.

He got back in bed after cleaning up and throwing away the condom, saying, "Well, there goes the whole no people from Capeside."

"We're not doing this again," Jen said. She was smiling, though, obviously satisfied.

"Sure," Pacey said. "Are you sure?"

"I am sure," Jen said. "This can't end well. Also, at some point Joey is going to figure who she actually wants to be with and I'm not going to be cannon fodder in another of Joey's romances. Seriously, you can't ever tell her. Not when you're 60, or 80." She looked at the ceiling. "On your deathbed, okay, you can tell her then."

"No, I got it," he said. He kissed her, though, and held her breast, because, wow, he should have got his hands on her to properly show her her incredible hotness when he was 16.

"You really can kiss," she said. She kissed him again, pulling at his hair. "We can kiss a little bit more, but then no more. Because it's a horrible idea."

"So horrible," he said. They kissed and groped like teenagers until she pushed him off the bed. "I get the idea, Lindley, I'm going back to my room."

She closed her eyes. "Yes, you should do that. You get why, right?"

"I don't agree with you about Joey because we both know I'll never compare to the perfect fairytale that is Dawson and Joey's awesome love, but I do think this is awful timing for you and me," Pacey said.

"Every time is awful for the two of us," Jen said. "Git, handsome fellow, git out."

He was still in a pretty good mood for at least a week. Then it was completely spoiled by randomly running into Joey. He wouldn't mind seeing her on the T, but he really minded the deer in the headlights look she insisted on giving him. "Should I not say hi? You don't look happy to see me."

"Of course I'm happy to see you," Joey said, faking a smile badly. She was a horrible liar.

He followed her off the T and insisted they sit down and talk or stand somewhere and talk. "Why don't you want to see me?"

"I want to see you, Pacey," Joey said. "I've just had a super weird week."

"Is something wrong?"

Joey sighed and crossed her arms. "Not wrong. I guess just, wrong with me that's what wrong. I've been working so hard on this class and the teacher is such an asshole. Worse, I'm working for him in the English department which is this year's job and every time I go in there, I think about how I should have taken that waitress job. But mostly, I was talking to Audrey and talking to Jen and I had this awful revelation and I kinda wanted to completely ignore it until I've had the chance to chew it over and reduce it to manageable bites of horror."

"I have no idea what you just said," Pacey said. "But I think it's probably a good thing you've broken yourself of the waitress habit. You're making contacts, right?"

"Yes, I am," Joey said, frowning. "That's not my issue, actually. See, basically, I have realized exactly how much of my life no matter what I tell myself about choices, I am utterly motivated by fear. Just constant fear."

Pacey was now absolutely frustrated by Joey being opaque and vague and acting like seeing him was a horror show. "So fear," Pacey said. "That's why you went running back to Dawson a month after we broke up and you've never once put any effort into getting back together with me the way you'll jump 3 foot hurdles to get to Dawson."

"Actually yes," Joey said, her voice rising. "You are the scariest person I've ever known. With you, I'm in love. I'm deep in it. I'm lost, I will never resurface. You're like forever and no one, no one else in my life including Dawson makes me feel like that. So yes, when you dumped me, it was horrible. It was awful. And I was afraid by how much I still loved you and wanted you. But Dawson was safer. Dawson is a narrative I have control over."

"Is that an apology? Or an explanation? I'm scary? I would never ever hurt you. I've apologized to you for when I did," Pacey said. He noticed he was shouting when people walking by were shooting him glances and stepping away as they walked by. He was a tall guy shouting at a skinny girl right on the street.

"I know you'd never hurt me, I'm saying our relationship, how much we can have together, it scares me senseless. I don't know anyone who's made it work long term, not even the Leerys if you really think about it, and I can't take breaking up with you more than once." She rubbed her eyes. "This is why I wanted to overthink this, damn it."

Pacey approached her gingerly, taking her hands before anyone called the police on him. "Jo," he said. "Sweetheart, you and me aren't any of those people. What happens to us or will happen, that's going to be determined by us, not by what our parents did or whatever you're thinking." He let go of her hands and stepped back. "Okay, you know how I live at Grams's and pay very low rent?"

"We're changing the subject abruptly," Joey said. "Got it."

"You said you wanted more time to overthink, and I was told you and I can't hook up until January 1st, 2003, so I'd thought we'd change the subject, yeah? Anyway, part of my rent is making breakfast for Grams and whomever shows up 4 days a week. Actually, it's breakfast 3 days, and brunch on Sunday. So apparently some people like my cooking, way more than my current boss, and people sometime come by. Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7 am, or Sunday at 10 am," Pacey said. "You should come by. Bring a friend."

"Okay," Joey said. "Thanks. I'll remember."

She turned around and went back to the T. Pacey tried to absorb everything she'd said and screamed at him.

He went home to Grams's, which he guessed was home. He knocked on Jen's door and she told him to come in. He said, "I just had the weirdest shouting match with Potter. Is it okay to talk to you about this? I can try Jack's room."

"I'm bound by girl code," Jen said. "The funny part is that looking back on the last 5 years, you've been my consistent good friend, and Joey, not so much. But, of course, I value Joey so much because I spent so much time trying to be her friend."

"She's a good friend," Pacey said.

"Mostly, yes," Jen said. "She yelled at you."

"Yes, she did. And I yelled at her and let me tell you, people react different to me yelling than her yelling."

"Men suck," Jen said. "Law of averages means you suck, too."

"Probably," Pacey said. "It's just weird. I would like to think I was a good communicator. But let's be blunt, apparently, judging by all the yelling, me and Joey and Dawson were very bad at communicating so we're all just bottled up and yelling at each other in random intervals."

"Dawson comes by the house all the time and you don't yell at each other," Jen said.

"We did get our yelling out of the way. As opposed to me and Joey." He looked at her, still sprawled on the bed. "Any chance we can do that thing we did again?"

"Dream on, Witter," Jen said. "I am definitely not turned on by you talking about Joey. Scoot. Go back to your room and jerk off."

"Well," Pacey said. "It was super hot. I like picturing it."

"I could use a little less truth from you," Jen said, laughing.

A week later, he was making breakfast, nearly perfect french toast according to Grams. She'd already had hers and Pacey was now feeding everyone else. It was a big crowd this morning, relatively; Jack, Jen, Dawson and one of the frat guys Jack was still friends with. To his pleasant surprise, Joey and Audrey came in and sat right at the counter. "You guys should really learn to lock the door," Audrey said.

"We're welcoming to everyone," Jen said.

Pacey went to the expensive cappuccino machine he and Grams bought and made Audrey a mocha just like she liked. He put it down in front of her. She smiled at him and he smiled at her. He said, "What do you want for your coffee, Jo?"

"Um, cappuccino?"

"Done," he said. He put out the next two plates of french toast and didn't scrimp on the presentation. He put another four for Audrey and Joey. Then he started on making the capuccino.

Jack said, "Since when are you a barista?"

"The senior sous-chef straight up hates me so instead of being a simple low on the totem pole prep cook, he likes to make me rotate to different jobs where I know nothing so I'll screw up and get fired," Pacey said. "But so far, I've managed to master everything he throws at me, including a whole week on the drinks station."

"If he decides to make you a waiter, call me," Joey said.

"That is unlikely but not impossible," Pacey said.

After everyone had plates in front of them and even Pacey was eating, Dawson brought up his Halloween party again. "Everyone needs to come, in costume. Nice costumes, not your work uniform and a fancy chef hat, Pacey."

"Don't tell me what to do, Dawson," Pacey said.

"Partying with movie stars," Jack's friend said. "Awesome."

"Mostly it's partying with the crew," Dawson said. "Some extras, three actors who have less than three credits to their resume and yes, one movie star."

"Are you still sleeping with her?" Jen was the one to ask to Pacey's amusement.

"Yes, Jen, I am," Dawson said. "It's not that serious, though. Not an invitation to anyone." He glanced at Joey. "But being honest."

"Honesty," Jack sang. "Such a lonely word." Jack had a horrible voice.

Dawson said, "Oh, no showing up in your work clothes and calling that a costume."

Nevertheless, Pacey just grabbed a fancier chef hat and wore that with his usual work uniform. Dawson said, "Come on, Pacey, I was speaking specifically to you. I was saying, be creative."

"I don't like dressing up," Pacey said. "I put on the hat for you."

Jack came up and laughed at Pacey. Jack had an actual costume, he was Robin of Batman and Robin but without visible nipples. "You have great legs," Pacey said.

"I know, why do you think I picked this? Also, it was Jen's suggestion. And she invited a friend who we suspect is maybe gay, so I need to find Jen and shake my ass at him. If he's gay."

Dawson said, "You do have nice legs."

Jack smirked at the two of them and left.

"Bam," Pacey said. "You know, you're just in a black suit."

"From Men in Black," Dawson said. "It's a costume."

"You worked hard on it," Pacey said, grinning. "Please tell me I can drink. Am I gonna get carded at the bar?"  
"I didn't," Dawson said.

Pacey had plans to walk home or take the T so he got something stiff. Put more hair on his chest. He leaned back against a fake wall and watched all the people. He used to be sociable. Now he was just worried about running into Audrey or Joey.

Luckily, Jen came up to him to engage him in conversation before Pacey turned into the creepy guy hugging the wall. Jen said, "I'm glad I found you. I have a thing to talk to you about."

"This sounds fun," Pacey said.

"Don't worry, I'm not pregnant or diagnosed with something vile," Jen said. "I guess, I wanted to tell you that lately, I've realized. I have to come to the realization that I am maybe attracted to a woman. Who you've dated, I mean Audrey. I wanted to tell you because it seemed fair."

"Wow," Pacey said. "Is that really a new thing for you? I always thought you and Abby -"

"No," Jen said. "No, but now that you mention it, I think I wanted to?" Jen stamped her feet. "I wanted to. I totally wanted to. Why didn't you say anything? I could have had this revelation sooner. I could have dated someone super hot my senior year. Do you know Alexis Dwyer came out? She's beautiful."

"I didn't tell you because I assumed you didn't want to talk about it, also I assumed you two had made out a few times and I was clearly wrong about that," Pacey said. "Also, Audrey is also super hot. And she makes out with girls when she's drunk."

"Performative lesbianism isn't maybe the greatest indicator that she wants me in bed," Jen said. "Also I'm still attracted to men. I'm attracted to both."

"No, she seriously made out with girls even if no one was watching. We had a deal back in LA, as long as no clothes were removed or naked body parts were touched and I didn't have to see it, if we were at one of those parties, she could mack away. Maybe having that agreement wasn't a good sign for our relationship," Pacey said. "I just didn't like the parties and I wanted her to have fun."

"It's okay," Jen said. "You wanted her to be happy. You want her to be happy."

"I want you to be happy," Pacey said, patting Jen on the head. He loved doing that especially when she glared at him. She was dressed like a pilgrim which was oddly covered up for Lindley. Maybe she felt weird about coming out as bi. He hugged her. "Seriously, I mean it. I want you to be happy with whomever. Thanks for the heads up, and you get that girl. I'll be over here laughing at you for all the gay straight alliance things you dragged Jack to while you thought you were straight."

"Shut up," Jen said. "Speaking of, I have to go tell Jack and then maybe actually hit on Audrey."

"Go forth," Pacey said. He saw Joey from afar, she was dressed like a pirate. He smiled at her, waved, and then left.

Joey called him, she started calling a lot. "I'm glad you got that flip phone, cause I can call you and not wake up everyone."

"You're just waking up me," Pacey said.

"You don't have to answer," Joey said.

"We both know I'll always answer," Pacey said. He was very sleepy. He said, "What are you reading tonight?"

"What do you think are the only two female authors my stupid professor can stand and therefore assign to us?"

"Oh, god, is this a trick question?" Pacey rubbed his eyes. "Jane Austen is one, right?"

"Yes," Joey said. "Even that lout has to appreciate Austen. Now guess number 2."

"I have no idea. I think it's adorable you think I have some idea of women writers that your professor considers canon," Pacey said.

"Dorothy Parker," Joey said, sounding disappointed. "There's really a ton he could have chosen, it's just so typical to me that it's Dorothy Parker. You don't care."

"Not a lot," Pacey said. "Tell me a book I should read instead that isn't awful or dull, and I'll give it a try so we can talk about that."

Joey was quiet for a moment. She said, "I could come over."

"Nope, we are not getting back together until the new year."

Joey snorted. "I could just come over, you know. You're not irresistible."

"Ah, but you are," Pacey said. "It's seven weeks from now, please let me make that deadline."

"Because it's important to you," Joey said slowly. "Okay, this is all because of me, because of me and Dawson. I didn't wait as long as you wanted."

"Nailed it," Pacey said. "I'm not letting Audrey feel like cannon fodder."

"I said I'm sorry and also, you hurt me first," Joey said.

"And every time I've said I'm sorry for that, you totally got over it," Pacey said.

"Whatever," Joey said. "I think we can hang out in person without breaking your very important vow."

"Sure," Pacey said. "In brightly lit places, lots of people around. I know I'm exaggerating, I just really miss you."

"I'm going to bring you a book by Zora Neale Hurston. You are going to love it."

She brought two books the next morning. He read them over Thanksgiving because he had to work and couldn't go home for the big dinner. He was okay with it, his mom was cooking. He missed seeing his sisters. And even Dougie and his dad, a little.

Audrey came by Pacey's restaurant and waited outside the kitchen because she was Audrey. The sous-chef who hated Pacey made sure to tell Pacey that he shouldn't bring groupies around. Pacey rolled his eyes when the guy turned his back and was rewarded with a sly smile from two of the dishwashers, Manny and Ginger. "You know what I'm saying," he said quietly to them. Pacey had a slight advantage there, he'd actually taken the time to learn his coworkers' names and didn't just call them "dishwasher" and "prep cook."

"Audrey, thanks so much for coming by," Pacey said.

"This place is way more uptight than Civilization," Audrey said.

"I know, it really is, thanks for getting me yelled at."

"Give me a break," she said. She glanced at him and shook her head. "You should get a better job where they don't get mad at you when people you didn't invite show up."

"This is actually a pretty good job. Sous chef sucks, chef is great, he's just pretty formal," Pacey said. "So why are you here?"

"First off, I wanted to tell you that I, too, was never really in love with you, like you were never really in love with me. I thought I was in love, but now that I'm with Jen, I know real love," she said.

"That's … nice," Pacey said. "I never said I didn't truly love you, Audrey."

"Because you're an inveterate nice guy and you would never say anything to cruel to anyone you cared about but we both know it's true and you didn't even deny it," Audrey said. "Anyway, I came down here to release you from your oath or promise or vow or whatever. Go ahead and fuck my roommate whenever you want. You know why? Because you are a mere footnote in my love story, my awakening." Audrey grinned. "Besides, I honestly didn't expect you to last this long."

"You continually render me speechless, woman," Pacey said. "I never made a vow or promise or oath or anything, your new true love told me I wasn't allowed."

"But you really kept to it," Audrey said. "That is awesome of you. You know what else is awesome? Sex with Jen. I kinda feel like I wasted years of my life on dick. Not that I didn't enjoy it, but wow, Jen is great."

"That's so good to hear," Pacey said. "Thank you for coming by to let me off the hook. I know you did it out affection for Joey and because you don't completely hate me."

"Not completely," Audrey said. She thumped his shoulder, hard, painfully hard, though Pacey manfully didn't wince. "Don't ever sleep over in my dorm room."

"Got it," he said.

He was tempted to go to Joey immediately but it seemed cheesy and maybe slightly gross. He wasn't sure, but he hadn't planned to come running at Joey with his dick out as it was the year of our lord 2003. It would probably be super cold which was one of many reasons not to do that.

He finished his shift and went home, opening his door with a sigh. He should call Joey, he thought. "Or," he said, looking at her asleep on his bed. "Wake her up and talk to her then." He sat down next to her and rubbed her shoulder.

"Hey, you worked late," Joey said. "I did all my homework and started reading ahead and you still weren't here."

"Did Audrey tell you first? Of course she did," Pacey said.

"I might have begged her. It feels weird to be being honest with each other and still harnessed by this weird thing you're doing for your ex-girlfriend," Joey said. "Which I appreciate, but at this point, as I bet Audrey has told you, you are just the last dick before she realized her truth. That's how Audrey says it."

"She's very picturesque that way, I almost miss that," Pacey said. "Almost. Did you come over so we could fuck?"

Joey blushed. "I just like sleeping with you, like sleep, you know? Remember on the boat?"

"Yeah," he said. He stripped down to his boxers and got in bed next to her. She snuggled up next to him, his arm around her.

She said, "I used to have a dream, my favorite daydream. You and I were on this tropical island. Yellow sand, palm tree, water lapping the beach, the usual. And it was just us, but we were okay, you caught fish and we were naked all the time." He tightened his grip on her.

"Naked all the time?"

"Lost our clothes when the boat drifted away."

Pacey said, "In your daydream, the boat crashed and you're omitting that for my tender feelings."

"Basically," Joey said. "And we never broke up, and we didn't lie to each other and we didn't date other people. And the coconut oil was great on my skin."

"We didn't need sunscreen?"

"Daydream," Joey said.

"I burn easily," Pacey said. "I mean, I tan and then I burn, but as you know it's a delicate process that requires sunscreen because the Witters are pale and pasty."

"I'm never telling you my daydreams again," Joey said.

They fell asleep.

They had sex in the morning. "Much too loud sex," Jen said. Pacey was making breakfast. Grams had already eaten. Jen looked at Joey. "You had loud sex and you're both all happy and glowing."

"Because you've never woken me up being loud, with my ex-girlfriend," Pacey said.

Jen smirked. "Yup, that is true."

After Jen left, Joey said, "You should make Jen and Audrey go to the dorm on their date nights."

"I should make those ladies do something? We both know them," Pacey said. "Also, for those two right now, every night is date night."

"We should totally do that," Joey said.

"You get to call Dawson," Pacey said.

"Already did," Joey said. She smiled at him. "I'm not re-making the same mistakes again. Also, I plan to yell at you when I feel the need."

"I plan to tell you when I'm failing at life?" He shrugged. "I feel like that happens a lot."

"It's not happening now," Joey said. "You're doing awesome."

"Well, I have you," Pacey said. "Are you going to keep giving me books? I liked the ones you gave me, they were good."

"I will ply you with books," Joey said, leaning on the counter, giving him a nice view down her shirt. "You will be plied so hard."

"That does not sound sexy, sweetheart, I gotta tell you," he said. He kissed her anyway.


End file.
